As I said earlier, we got a little dusting of snow....in fact it has pretty much gone away....not melted because it is still so COLD outside, but magically disappeared. I did not do much of anything today except try to stay warm, keep Annabeth's clothes dry and warm her up after going outside, and make some chili. It was pretty good....or I was just really hungry.
Daddy called me to remind me about winterizing momma's house, so I went over there to put the faucet covers on and open the vanity cabinets where the bathroom plumbing fixtures are, and while I was there, memories of her flooded my mind. That is the house that I grew up in, that my parents raised me and my sister in, the stable home for my children as they grew up.....we moved here and there, but Grandmomma was always in her home, then it was the place that momma got sick, grew weary and tired, and then passed away. So many things to see, touch, smell, feel....but she is not there. Her spirit is gone from that place.....I could feel her in my heart, but even sitting on her bed that she lived for practically the last 2 months of her life, I could not feel her there. I cried and cried.
I then remembered that I was supposed to cancel her AARP supplemental insurance and her RX plan. I called them and thought I was doing OK, until I had to tell the customer service representative the reason for my call. It is so hard to just say those words.
I know that it will get easier with time........just wish it was easier now.....k
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- JustKay
- I am a wife and mother of three great kids, Sarah, Austin and Annabeth. Mimi to three sweet grandsons, Noah and Hunter, and Dallas. I am a nurse in the neonatal intensive care unit of a large inner city hospital. So, sit back and relax, this is the story of our family.
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Kay, I know the days are long and most of them are VERY painful. Somehow with the strength of God you can pull through this. I can remember crying everyday on the way to and from work. Rita was my CAR buddy. I wondered how I ever stayed on the road with all the tears. I would talk to Rita after she passed in the car...in my mind. I could really feel her with me.. I just would ask question and of course.. I knew the answers...It was the only way I stayed sane.. Most other days I would just pull over and cry. Brenda helped me alot. I would call her just about everyday.. she would talk me down from that clift..I will always be here for you.. Anytime! Rita was just like a mother to me.. So I can only imagine how much harder this is on you both. You have taken wonderful care of her.. and now she would want you to take care of yourself. Be strong my friend.. only time will heal..
ReplyDeleteLove you,
Tina